The Problem with Parking Lots

Parking lots are an evil necessity. People do very weird things in them. How many of us have parked our car, opened the door and put our foot down to step in...heaven only knows what. In a sadistic way, I can't help but try to analyze exactly what it is. Is it somebody's cold latte from the day before that they have dumped out to make room for their fresh, hot one today? Or could it be the worse imaginable, the "V" word? And, if it is vomit, is it baby vomit (more politely called spit-up), child vomit, or big people's vomit? There is a huge difference in my mind. Vomit from children under the age of say 6 months-2 years is no problem, ages 2-6 not too bad, 6-12 it's getting gross, and if it's teenage stuff--well we all know what a teenager's diet consists of. If it looks adult-like--well, they probably shouldn't have drank so much the night before. One time, in the mall parking lot, I saw a woman and man walking along, and the woman projectile vomited something white, and stopped only for a brief moment and then continued on her merry way. I fantisized that she was having morning sickness; somehow it made me feel better about the whole thing, even though I had a hard time getting that picture wiped out of my memory for quite sometime. (Now we know why Jessica is like she is. It must be genetic.) Anyway, I digress.

Parking lots just seem to be the place for people to spit their gum, pour out drinks, dump dirty diapers (they certainly don't want to drive home with that stinking thing in their car), and leave their fast food leftovers and garbage. Whose mother do they think is going to clean up this stuff?I was a stickler about teaching my kids not to litter. We used to debate on the way to school as to whether it was permissible to toss out a banana peel or apple core. This was way out on country roads where it was possible for something to biodegrade way before the next car would come along. To leave any piece of garbage, no matter if it was only the size of a chewing gum wrapper, in a parking lot would have meant sure and swift punishment. I wonder if the people leaving their garbage in the lots had mothers that taught them anything?

But probably at the top of my list of the "Most Annoying Things People Do in Parking Lots' (and on sidewalks) is men who feel compelled to spit luggies. What is it with men that they like to hack that stuff up and spout it out only for some nice girl in a pair of flip flops to set her foot on? And to top it off, they have no sense of propriety; they do it right in front of you. Come on men. Didn't your mommas teach you better?