The Telling and Untelling

A couple of years ago Jenny received a wedding invitation from a friend with whom she had attended college. A few weeks before the wedding, she received another letter from the girl's father explaining that the wedding was postponed. Not necessarily cancelled, but postponed because there were some issues that needed to be resolved before the couple married. I felt horrible for this young couple imagining the disappointment they must have felt, but it spoke volumes about the wisdom of the couple and their parents. The "untelling" of life events is a very difficult thing to do. While you are trying to deal with your own disappointment or embarrassment, you have the added emotional burden of dealing with those who are also disappointed, embarrassed or feeling sympathy for you. In a sense, while you are the one who needs comfort, you are put in a place of needing to comfort others. In the case of this wedding, the "untelling" of the planned wedding was necessary or they were going to have a whole bunch of guests show up at a wedding that wasn't going to take place.

But let me suggest that we do a bangup job of protecting ourselves emotionally from having to "untell" many of the events of our lives. It is much easier to keep our lives secret so that if there is any disappointment we won't have to tell anyone about it. We will bear the pain all by ourselves. No embarrassment, no need to share the disaapointment and heartache.

As Christians this attitude should not be part of our experience. We should pray for one another and bear one another's burdens. We are commanded to "rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep." There is no place for keeping all of our hurts to ourselves thinking we can patch it all up without the help of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Many of you know that our daughter has experienced multiple miscarriages in the past couple of years. The reason why you know that is because many of you have lifted her up in prayer, with words of encouragement and tangible expressions of your love. I am so encouraged that Jessica and Justin were able to ask prayer for these babies in the very earliest of their days. While it would have been much easier to keep the news of their pregnancies and subsequent miscarriages to themselves, they chose not to. Each pregnancy was rejoiced over and each of these babies were mourned, as they rightly should be. Yes, the pain of the "untelling" must have been excruciating for them, but I am so glad that they know the love of the body of Christ which is meant to bear one another up in times just as these. The Apostle Paul spoke of this sharing in 2 Cor 1:2 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort."

Jessica is now about 7 weeks pregnant. Please pray for her and the baby. And, if by God's will there is an "untelling" that needs to happen, we will be strengthened by your prayers and the knowledge that you will mourn with us. We pray for a healthy baby, and if God in His great mercy grants us this request, our rejoicing will be ever sweeter because we have shared the tears of sorrow and joy.